Latest southern Colorado news, weather and sports from FOX21 News

COLORADO SPRINGS, COLO. -- Have you ever been in a public place and seen a child throwing a temper tantrum?

Or worse has it ever been your child?

FOX21 News has tips on dealing with a miniature meltdown.

When you child is throwing a temper tantrum a parent can feel helpless.

But experts tell us with a little patience and a few proven techniques...

You can survive and even eliminate tantrums.

We've all seen this at one time or another; the bright red face, the limp body and a shriek that rattles the nerves; the unmistakable signs of a temper tantrum.

"It is the dinosaur part of the brain it is fight or flight it is survival and when we are in that mode we can’t be reasoned with," UCCS Family Development Center Director Ida Bauer.

Shari Hamlin is the mother of eight children ranging from 2 to 18.

That’s eight kids she’s been through the terrible two's with.

She says part of the solution is making sure you aren’t asking your kid to do more than they are capable of.

"We wouldn’t take them into a situation where they were hungry and we were at a store at nap time." Hamlin said.

Hamlin is also an advocate of making clear boundaries for children that are appropriate to their age.

She says whenever one of her children has thrown a tantrum she took it as a sign they were seeking structure.

"To me the tantrums are an indication that the boundaries are too wide," Hamlin said. 

Hamlin says she lets her kids know what she expects from them.

And lets them know there will be consequences if they don’t meet those expectations.

"You can have consequences out the ying yang for your kids but if you don’t follow through on those consequences they know they can take advantage of that," Hamlin said.

But what do you do once the tantrum has begun?

For that we turn to child development expert Ida Bauer.

She says the biggest mistake parents make when faced with a tantrum is getting angry with the child.

She says a close second is giving in to the tantrum.

"The problem with giving into temper tantrums is that it really reinforces them it teaches the child that if they tantrum they can have their way," Bauer said.

Bauer is introducing a new program here called conscious discipline.

And it offers tips on how to deal with a tantrum.

"When a child is tantruming what I might do is I might imitate that child and say well Jenny your arms are going like this and you legs are going like this and ironically what that does is it makes the child stop and think," Bauer said.

Bauer says by mirroring the child they are forced to from emotion to reasoning.

"When you do it you do it without any judgment at all I never say if what the child is doing is good or bad I don’t imitate them with any mocking tone in my voice," Bauer said.

Then she says you should empathize with the child.

"I usually say something like I can tell you are really upset my job is to help you if you tell me what the problem is maybe is can help you solve it.” Bauer said.

The final step is to honestly listen to what the child is saying.

She says research shows the techniques reduce 68 percent of tantrums.

And by repeating the steps each time your child throws a tantrum you can stop them all together.

"The behavior starts to eliminate itself as the child starts to learn to get what he wants or she wants in a constructive way instead of a destructive way," Bauer said.

Bauer says even though mirroring the child’s behavior in a public place might draw some strange looks; it’s still the way to go because it’s about the child and not about what other people think.