COLORADO SPRINGS, COLO. -- The FOX21 Morning News Money Coach Bill Stanley is struggling a little bit these days, he says. His son gets married in May, and he's trying to come up with useful, fatherly advice to give without it sounding "too much" like fatherly advice.
The first thing he says he's going to tell his son and future daughter-in-law is that "marriage changes everything."
"Even if a couple has known each other for years and even if they may be living together, marriage changes everything," he said. "Be prepared for something dramatically different."
One of the secrets to success in just about everything, and especially in a marriage Stanley said, is communication. He emphasizes to newlyweds the importance of talking about money issues on a regular basis.
Many newly-married couples avoid talking about money and the problems grow and grow, he said. His suggestion is to have a money meeting each month, devoting 30-45 minutes to talking about money and nothing else. Come to the meeting with an outline of what to talk about and make it regular (for example the first Friday of every month.) At the conclusion, hug and then reward yourself with going out to dinner.
He recommends monthly meetings for the first two years of any marriage, even if it is a second marriage, and periodic meetings after that.
Stanley's next words of wisdom deal with "saving" and "investing." "Saving" for a rainy day means having an emergency fund to pay for unexpected bills; "investing" means putting money aside for the future, remembering that for every day we work we must earn enough to pay for that day and for some day in the distant future when we no longer work. Also, a spending plan is an absolute necessity, he said.
When it comes to weddings and wedding gifts, Stanley said he wishes it could be like it was years ago, when there was a bride price in goats or cattle (although this probably won't work inside city limits). The families would provide something useful, something of value, so the new couple would have a starting point.
"I'm a bit leery of big expensive weddings," he said. "The money can be better spent on erasing existing debt and getting off on the right foot. My gift [to my son and his future wife] is cash assistance so they can buy a home."
The best wedding gift, Stanley said, is to pay for a couple of hours with a fee-only financial advisor, someone who does not sell financial products. This will cost a couple of hundred dollars and, for the newlyweds, it will be money well spent.
Bill Stanley and Money Matters airs every Tuesday on FOX21 Morning News.
If you have a question for Bill, contact him directly via email: moneycoachbill@aol.com
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