Latest southern Colorado news, weather and sports from FOX21 News

COLORADO SPRINGS, COLO. -- It is usually one of the happiest times in a woman's life, pregnancy.

While most women gleam at the sight of their bellies growing with their babies, for some it is the exact opposite.

The fear of gaining weight while pregnant overrules their excitement and soon controls their lives completely.

"I have had thoughts about my worthiness to need food and nutrition since I was a young child in grade school, and when I was 17 years old I started to deprive myself of food and restrict," Julie Colliton said.

More than two decades later Colliton still struggles with anorexia. In 1999 she conceived her first child with the help of fertility drugs. At the time she said she was exhibiting behaviors of an eating disorder.

"I thought, well, I am knowledgeable about this process and if we can do it pharmacologically and I do not have to gain weight and we can push an egg out through medications and trick my body then I would rather do it that way," Colliton said.

Colliton said when she did eventually become pregnant her need to control her weight only became worse. She said her prenatal exams all came back clear giving her the green light to continue down her destructive path.

"I was getting thumbs-up from everybody, so I thought I had it mastered, and I was an older woman getting pregnant so it was kind of a double-edged sword. I was older and anorexic, and yet I thought I was beating the system, if you will," Colliton said.

What Colliton was experiencing was pregorexia, or anorexia during pregnancy.

Doctors said most women who experience pregorexia struggle with an eating disorder before they actually become pregnant.

"However anyone who has ever been pregnant would know that the changes that occur in a woman's body are profound, and for someone who has body image distortion, it would be very triggering to develop further behaviors," said Dr. Anita Kumar-Gill, medical director for the Eating Disorder Center of Denver 

Kumar-Gill said having an eating disorder while pregnant is extremely dangerous to both mother and baby. She said the disease can result in a number of complications and sometimes even death.

"When people have eating-disordered behaviors during pregnancy they sometimes minimize it by saying it is only one behavior, but even one behavior can cause risk to the fetus," Kumar-Gill said.

For those experiencing an eating disorder while pregnant, Kumar-Gill said it is important to get professional help with the guidance of family or friends.

That's something Colliton has and continues to do. She said she hopes her story will encourage others to do the same.

"I think one has to be honest with how strong of a grip the disease has on that person," Colliton said.

Kumar-Gill said postpartum depression is also higher in women who struggle with an eating disorder while pregnant. She said over-exercising is also a component people need to be aware of.